In Memory ~ Our Friend ~ Kenny George Cox 1978 - 2009

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Aug 19, 2009

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Aug 18, 2009

Kenny Showing Off His New Sandals!

Different Shoes

When I first met Kenny Cox I was intimidated. Kenny was such an accomplished wrestler. He was someone I looked up to and admired for what he had accomplished in the wrestling world. It was seconds into our first conversation, as workout partners, in high school, that I realized Kenny was truly a humble, genuine person (not to mention a very physical, intense, focused wrestler).

In the early days of our friendship we were very similar… we loved wrestling, shared conservative values, had a similar style and look, and valued our friendship. As we grew from boys into men our values on life began to differ, our outlook on world affairs seemed to not align, Kenny traded his wrestling shoes in for sandals (or bare feet). I traded my wrestling shoes in for dress shoes… However, the value we placed on our friendship only grew (and grew).

Kenny embraced the diversity of not only our friendship but life. Like the first day I met Kenny, he was humbled by life and genuine to all that came into his life. He wanted to learn from everyone and he never pre-judged someone for their physical appearance.

If you asked Kenny he may say he really felt like a student in our friendship but the truth is he was more the teacher. He taught me the importance to slow down and reconnect. He often (bearing gifts – usually bread or an apple) would stop by to see me at work or home to just “slow down and reconnect”.



I weep… I weep… I often was to busy to break bread. Because of Kenny I will never be too busy when a friend walks into my lobby or shows up on my doorstep… I weep… with a powerful reminder that the work on my desk will always be there… a true friend that I loved so dearly may not always be there.

Love,
Matt, Graduate of the Kenny Cox School of reconnecting, and embracing the diversity of life.

The Kenny I Knew

By David Watson

On Friday morning August 13th just twelve days after his 31st birthday, my best friend Kenny Cox left this world. Kenny was much much more than a friend to me, he was a brother. Kenny and I shared the same philosophies on life, the same music interests, and the same passions for the outdoors. Kenny and I had our first encounter in the fifth grade at a tournament in Newberg the Oregon Classic Qualifier. When I saw Kenny, I automatically assumed that I was going to make quick work of this short nerdy boy with bottle cap glasses that fit awkwardly on his face. Lets just say, I was very wrong indeed. Kenny was a few short years away from being the wonder boy of wrestling with his five national titles, and state championships. Kenny and I must have wrestled each other every other weekend throughout our child hood. We than went to the same college, the University of Oregon together. We lived in a co-op house together with Jay McGuffin, and James Nakashima and made our friendship unseperatable. It was there that Kenny taught the practice of “getting out of a rut” as he would famously say. With out a moments notice Kenny had convinced me that we should take a little night stroll on our bikes to his families cabin in Gold Hill. We were tired, but we made it there. We also spent many nights up there at the cabin becoming men. We talked about all of our dreams up there. We sometimes would sit in a homemade hot tub that his uncle Robert had made and drink Brandy and shout as loud as we could at the night sky, just because we could. We also got lost up there on a snowy winter day, and nearly died as we walked all through the night, until 2 in the morning the next day, with hypothermal chills, and severely blistered feet. Despite the lack of sleep and blistered feet, we made it through a whole U of O practice. Kenny and I quit our favorite passion wrestling together. We reconciled our loss of identity together. We tried to figure out what replacement identities we would take together.

When Kenny moved up the McKenzie River and I moved to Eastern Oregon, I ducked out of some important responsibilities as a student teacher to drive 10 hours through the evening and night to meet Kenny at his trailer for the weekend; there we took a wooden row boat out on a half frozen lake and started a little fire in the middle of it (how is up to your imaginations). We warmed our hands, starred at the stars and thought about life. Kenny and I shared the same passion for the music artist Neil Young, who was introduced to us by our coach’s Chuck and Scott Kearny. One time Kenny and I needed to get out of a rut and so we headed due north to Seattle to see Neil Young live. Neil’s last song was “Be the Rain”. After the concert was complete Kenny was deeply troubled at the massive number of people ignoring Neil’s message and littering in the parking lot. Kenny ran around the parking lot picking up heaps of litter while singing repeatedly “Be the Rain!” He ran around until about 2 in the morning when all the litter had finally been picked up. Kenny and I climbed mountains in the Wallowas together; we climbed mountains in the Steens together. Kenny climbed the Steens Mountain in Birkenstocks. We decided to Glissade down the mountain naked and stopped when we realized that our numb butts were staining the beautiful snow red.

When I met the love of my life, I needed Kenny’s approval, and after careful analysis he gave it. So when I got married I could think of no better person to be my best man. Kenny happily obliged. He was so nervous not to mess up; he practiced his lines over and over. I looked forward to the possibility of doing the same for Kenny.

I personally don’t believe in the literal story of Eden as presented in Genesis, I believe that the story is a metaphor for the change from a hunter and gather lifestyle (Eden) into a plant and animal domestication lifestyle (Babylon). The story describes that moment when humanity became God like in their ability to control plants and wild beasts, to bend them at their will. Once humanity got a taste of this control, they could no longer go back to Eden.

Kenny was hungry for Eden. While the rest of us can justify our place in the civilized life, Kenny could not. Kenny dreamed of Eden. Kenny saw labor as a factor of division; a roadblock that kept us humans from taking the time to truly connect, to listen to each other, not with our ears, but with our consciousness. Kenny wanted a world in which humanity could shift its focus away from religion, materialism, politics, and class and just focus on each other. Kenny wanted to follow the footsteps of Mahatma Gandhi and be the change he wanted to see in the world. Kenny wanted to take heed of the advice of Socrates, “An unexamined life is a life not worth living.” Kenny spent much time examining life and taking action. Kenny led a life of humble possessions, sincere love, and a keen ability to selflessly focus on others.

In April, Kenny left for his Eden. I was fortunate enough to get the chance to spend the last weekend he had on the mainland, Kenny’s Babylon. Kenny wanted to find an open space amid the tall buildings and crowded edifices of the city, and so we hiked up a small mountain with a view of the city. When we got to the top, a strong and frigid pacific coast wind rushed in on us, nearly blowing us over. I rushed for protection behind some trees, as the dirt was stinging my face. Kenny did not follow me; instead he walked right into the storm and peacefully laid down in a tall grassy meadow. As the wind smashed into his face and made his hair stand out straight, he turned to me clinging to my tree and just smiled. A kind peaceful Kenny Cox smile. No words were exchanged just Kenny with his smile. Kenny was in the midst of a storm and he was totally at peace. I believe that Kenny’s final message to me was, don’t be afraid to face the storm, stop holding onto trees, go out and live life with boldness and passion. To love everyone as if we were all in Eden. That is what Kenny wanted from everyone most of all, to just love each other with true sincerity and passion; simple as that.

To me Kenny took on a life of divine manifestation. Kenny was the shaman, the wise man, the prophet, the message we all need. Kenny was able to peer thru the storm of life with a clarity that most of us only hope to achieve.

I love you Kenny, and I still plan on having many more fire side chats with you good buddy, because you will always be with me, for as long as I live. Kenny Cox, Pochahontas, and Me.



Brothers In Arms

Kenny Cox-My Brother, My Friend

Born August 1st 1978-Laid to Rest August 13th 2009- 31 Miraculous Years of Life

Kenny Cox is without a doubt one of the greatest human beings I have ever known and will probably ever know. There are very few people in this world that understood me and connected with me like Kenny. He transcended the ordinary and when with him I felt that I, if even for a moment, was able to escape into that realm of the extraordinary that Kenny forever lived in. He made me a better human being each and every time I connected with him. His actions spoke louder than his words and when he did speak it was to add to your points and not to take away from anything you had said. Kenny believed in living a life that was more natural and real than society deemed fit. He didn't want to miss a sunrise, a sunset, or a starry night. He would pause throughout the day to stop and point his body towards the sun and gather up the rays. He loved the be free and sought after an Eden that would allow him to drink freely from the waters, eat freely from the land, and sleep freely under the sky without the aid of unnatural walls and glass. He knew that this natural connection is what is missing most in people today and is something society is losing, as we continue to disconnect and separate ourselves from our natural world. The primitiveness that Kenny found brought fulfillment to him, peace, and a sensitivity to the world and others that made him unique. He believed in taking time to find yourself and then putting yourself out there for people. The risks he took, whether they resulted in success or failure, helped him grow as a human being and capture the hearts of everyone he came in contact with. Kenny was not concerned with money, material possessions, success or failure. His only concern was that everyone was happy and on their own journey to self-fulfillment. He cared so much for the happiness of everyone and only mildly prodded for us to contemplate a simpler life, filled with fewer things, but with more room for love. Kenny, I can't tell you how much I loved you and I will miss you for all my days here on earth. I have no doubt that I will be reconnected with you in a bit as you would say, around a fire, or maybe in cave at a hotspring somewhere. I will live my life to honor those things that we so most cherished and will never forget to pause, look to sky, and ask myself, what would Kenny do?

With infinite love,

Your friend forever,

Brian
FOOD FOR KENNY
Thank you, Jesse Meyer


On Saturday, August 29th, Jesse Meyer with the help of family and friends gave away a truck load (literally) of food to homeless and needy individuals; downtown area of Eugene, Oregon. 'Free Food For Kenny'

Very excited and thankful... many asked "Who's Kenny?" Jesse with the help of Matt Pakinas, and Matt and Tanya Powell replied "Our friend, a good person."








TO KENNY

The following is a song that Kenny and I would read the same way. Something we agreed upon perfectly. Read the lyrics all the way through, think about it, and see if you can hear Kenny singing this:

To Ramona
-Bob Dylan

Ramona, come closer,
Shut softly your watery eyes.
The pangs of your sadness
Shall pass as your senses will rise.
The flowers of the city
Though breathlike, get deathlike at times.
And there's no use in tryin'
T' deal with the dyin',
Though I cannot explain that in lines.

Your cracked country lips,
I still wish to kiss,
As to be under the strength of your skin.
Your magnetic movements
Still capture the minutes I'm in.
But it grieves my heart, love,
To see you tryin' to be a part of
A world that just don't exist.
It's all just a dream, babe,
A vacuum, a scheme, babe,
That sucks you into feelin' like this.

I can see that your head
Has been twisted and fed
By worthless foam from the mouth.
I can tell you are torn
Between stayin' and returnin'
On back to the South.
You've been fooled into thinking
That the finishin' end is at hand.
Yet there's no one to beat you,
No one t' defeat you,
'Cept the thoughts of yourself feeling bad.

I've heard you say many times
That you're better 'n no one
And no one is better 'n you.
If you really believe that,
You know you got
Nothing to win and nothing to lose.
From fixtures and forces and friends,
Your sorrow does stem,
That hype you and type you,
Making you feel
That you must be exactly like them.

I'd forever talk to you,
But soon my words,
They would turn into a meaningless ring.
For deep in my heart
I know there is no help I can bring.
Everything passes,
Everything changes,
Just do what you think you should do.
And someday maybe,
Who knows, baby,
I'll come and be cryin' to you.

Copyright ©1964; renewed 1992 Special Rider Music

Thanks,
Pete Hoffmeister.<